Friday, September 30, 2005

Take the High Road

Steve Camp has done a run on the perenially popular, 'How many to change a Light bulb?' routine. I added a comment and now steal it back for want of any better pSadvertisment tonight.

Wanted: Sufficient Church Members to be a Fully-functional Church With Church Discipline and all.
  • Worst case scenario, how many church members?
  • Worst case is the deacon who just plain refuses to allow the light bulb (for which his father paid a subscription) to be changed or even to be recognized as being in need of change or to be earmarked in any way for changing.
  • The man who needs the light bulb to be changed or at least can see the need or not see the light, or so on, should first of all go to the offending deacon and remonstrate (gently) with him.
  • If he will not relent, two other competent dud light bulb spotters should be taken to see said 'Old Light' deacon.
  • If he still will not relent, though by now this is getting tedious so we really hope he will, then this issue should be taken to the whole assembly of those competent to change light bulbs, ie men with better things to do.
  • In order for there to be more in this assembly than there were in the second stage of this dispute (one offending, one offended and two fence mending: Keep up!) there have to be at least five others but this is not in itself sufficient because another light bulb might burn out raising a whole new church disciplinary issue so you need a spare to be instantly available making it take at least ten church members to change any given light bulb, worst case scenario.
  • And John Gill says just that, although he wasn't so clear about the lightbulbs.

1 comment:

'Thought & Humor' said...

We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.
As soon as we acknowledge
this Supreme Designer/Architect,
Who has erected the beauteous
fabric of the universe, our minds
must necessarily be ravished with
wonder at this infinate goodness,
wisdom and power.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Howdy

'Thought & Humor'

P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."