Friday, September 30, 2005

Take the High Road

Steve Camp has done a run on the perenially popular, 'How many to change a Light bulb?' routine. I added a comment and now steal it back for want of any better pSadvertisment tonight.

Wanted: Sufficient Church Members to be a Fully-functional Church With Church Discipline and all.
  • Worst case scenario, how many church members?
  • Worst case is the deacon who just plain refuses to allow the light bulb (for which his father paid a subscription) to be changed or even to be recognized as being in need of change or to be earmarked in any way for changing.
  • The man who needs the light bulb to be changed or at least can see the need or not see the light, or so on, should first of all go to the offending deacon and remonstrate (gently) with him.
  • If he will not relent, two other competent dud light bulb spotters should be taken to see said 'Old Light' deacon.
  • If he still will not relent, though by now this is getting tedious so we really hope he will, then this issue should be taken to the whole assembly of those competent to change light bulbs, ie men with better things to do.
  • In order for there to be more in this assembly than there were in the second stage of this dispute (one offending, one offended and two fence mending: Keep up!) there have to be at least five others but this is not in itself sufficient because another light bulb might burn out raising a whole new church disciplinary issue so you need a spare to be instantly available making it take at least ten church members to change any given light bulb, worst case scenario.
  • And John Gill says just that, although he wasn't so clear about the lightbulbs.

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